I think I should just create a standard Mega corp end of quarter post and put it up when this time rolls around. It would go something like this:
@#!@$@#%$!@#% Suppliers who don't meet their delivery commitments.
!@#$!@$@#!%$@#%# Customers who don't pay their bills and want me to ship more anyway!
@#$@!%$$^#&%^*^&*^#$!$!@$!% sales guys who wait till the last week of the quarter to submit their orders and wonder why we don't have time to build and ship their shit!!
!@#$%^^*&^$%%$@#!$%^&*(^&^%^$!!@#$$*(%#$#@ Senior management who think we can sit around all day making pretty charts for them on where we estimate we will finish the quarter at and still some how find time to actually receive in late $%#$ material, build product we just got the @#$@#%@# order for ten minutes ago, get the @#$!@#!@$# customer off credit hold and ship the @!$#@%@#$%@ orders!!!
I was going to say at least there was no flood this time but Ike submerged some of our rail lines and although they are not currently flooded the shipping backlog caused by that flood did delay another half mil shipment I REALLY NEED.
I know - bitch, whine, and complain - that's all I do. Whatever. I'll talk to you next week.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Fun at work
I've found a new way to entertain myself in the dreary round of meetings I attend. And it makes fun and somewhat subversive use of the Blackberry my boss makes me carry so - double bonus.
I've done a number of jobs here at Mega Corp in my 13 year history with them including Quality Manager. I was probably the most hated and feared QM of all time here. Being the nosy, bossy, interfering sort that I am, I like to keep up with what is happening in my prior post. So when I am sitting in meetings I listen for things that impact that "past life". I then blackberry one of the people on the new Quality Manager's staff.
For example, the factory planning meeting this morning they raised the idea that we could save money if we stopped carrying license for all employees to access the computer system. I sent that immediately to one the QC people and less that three minutes later the new QM just popped into the meeting to see what was up.
He's a good guy but a little green and kind of touchy about my interfering. He does trust the quality team I built up implicitly however. So when the folks in the meeting started trying to snow him on how this would not be a problem I busted out the blackberry again and sent counter arguments to all their points to the QC rep who then sent them on to her boss. It was great - almost like being a ventriloquist. And my agenda for the quality team still gets served.
i have conquered Mega corp. Next step - world dominion by Blackberry.
I've done a number of jobs here at Mega Corp in my 13 year history with them including Quality Manager. I was probably the most hated and feared QM of all time here. Being the nosy, bossy, interfering sort that I am, I like to keep up with what is happening in my prior post. So when I am sitting in meetings I listen for things that impact that "past life". I then blackberry one of the people on the new Quality Manager's staff.
For example, the factory planning meeting this morning they raised the idea that we could save money if we stopped carrying license for all employees to access the computer system. I sent that immediately to one the QC people and less that three minutes later the new QM just popped into the meeting to see what was up.
He's a good guy but a little green and kind of touchy about my interfering. He does trust the quality team I built up implicitly however. So when the folks in the meeting started trying to snow him on how this would not be a problem I busted out the blackberry again and sent counter arguments to all their points to the QC rep who then sent them on to her boss. It was great - almost like being a ventriloquist. And my agenda for the quality team still gets served.
i have conquered Mega corp. Next step - world dominion by Blackberry.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Shameless Idea Theft
Riffing off Shannon's post about the $2000 leg of Ham I share with you today the story of the $5000 peaches.
Mega Corp - as I have mentioned before has a joint venture with a foreign company, the CEO of which is treated like a god everywhere he goes. I mean Mega corp's CEO gets his share of obscenely ridiculous ass kissing too but this is just beyond the level of obsequious that should ever be extended to any mere mortal. Professional Athletes, Rock stars, and Heads of State are not sucked up to like this.
For example - one time when he came to visit the agenda sent in advance by his staff said he would have drinks at the home of our division president in her garden his first evening in town. Our division president suggested a change in venue - since just having moved here she didn't really have much of a garden to drink in. Reasonable yes? Apparently not. The foreign god wanted drinks in her garden so we hired a freaken landscaping company to trek out to her new house and install ~$10,000 worth of garden for his visit.
I shit you not!!!
So, anyway, back to the peaches.
I was privileged* enough to be invited to dine with the foreign god once. For dessert we had a single peach each. It was peeled, sliced and arranged artistically on a small dessert plate. Each person's peach was hand carried out individually on a silver tray and presented with great flourish. I thought the showmanship was odd but the peach was tasty so what ever. I later learned that per the foreign gods instructions these were very special peaches we had been served. They came from a special orchard where each fruit on every tree is electronically monitored to be sure it is picked at the absolute perfect moment of ripeness and shipped same day to where ever it is being served in special temperature controlled individual packaging. Each peach cost $250. With 20 people present that dessert (not counting all the servers to carry them individually) cost the company $5000!!!
I have a few questions about this. And as a share holder as well as an employee of Mega Corp I think I am entitled to answers to insure we got value for that money.
What research was done into the ripening of peaches - how do I know they were measuring the correct parameters to insure I got my peach at the absolute pinnacle of ripeness?
What maintenance and calibration is done on the monitoring equipment to insure there are no faulty readings?
How do they uniquely identify each fruit to insure there are no mix ups once they are picked and separated from their monitoring equipment? Perhaps my peach was swapped with one that was picked a day later accidentally. How would they / I know? I mean besides the obviously imperfectly ripened taste - but isn't that a little late to be finding out!!!
How in the world do they manage to insure that the correct number of fruits ripen together at precisely the right time for an event like this?
What is the quality control system of the shipment process? what if the temperature is not perfectly and uniformly maintained in the shipping process. Or, dear lord, if a shipment got delayed?!?
I could go on - but really you get the point - I think a full audit is called for here. After all - Its important that we be fiscally responsible.
* no sarcasm here at ALL
Mega Corp - as I have mentioned before has a joint venture with a foreign company, the CEO of which is treated like a god everywhere he goes. I mean Mega corp's CEO gets his share of obscenely ridiculous ass kissing too but this is just beyond the level of obsequious that should ever be extended to any mere mortal. Professional Athletes, Rock stars, and Heads of State are not sucked up to like this.
For example - one time when he came to visit the agenda sent in advance by his staff said he would have drinks at the home of our division president in her garden his first evening in town. Our division president suggested a change in venue - since just having moved here she didn't really have much of a garden to drink in. Reasonable yes? Apparently not. The foreign god wanted drinks in her garden so we hired a freaken landscaping company to trek out to her new house and install ~$10,000 worth of garden for his visit.
I shit you not!!!
So, anyway, back to the peaches.
I was privileged* enough to be invited to dine with the foreign god once. For dessert we had a single peach each. It was peeled, sliced and arranged artistically on a small dessert plate. Each person's peach was hand carried out individually on a silver tray and presented with great flourish. I thought the showmanship was odd but the peach was tasty so what ever. I later learned that per the foreign gods instructions these were very special peaches we had been served. They came from a special orchard where each fruit on every tree is electronically monitored to be sure it is picked at the absolute perfect moment of ripeness and shipped same day to where ever it is being served in special temperature controlled individual packaging. Each peach cost $250. With 20 people present that dessert (not counting all the servers to carry them individually) cost the company $5000!!!
I have a few questions about this. And as a share holder as well as an employee of Mega Corp I think I am entitled to answers to insure we got value for that money.
What research was done into the ripening of peaches - how do I know they were measuring the correct parameters to insure I got my peach at the absolute pinnacle of ripeness?
What maintenance and calibration is done on the monitoring equipment to insure there are no faulty readings?
How do they uniquely identify each fruit to insure there are no mix ups once they are picked and separated from their monitoring equipment? Perhaps my peach was swapped with one that was picked a day later accidentally. How would they / I know? I mean besides the obviously imperfectly ripened taste - but isn't that a little late to be finding out!!!
How in the world do they manage to insure that the correct number of fruits ripen together at precisely the right time for an event like this?
What is the quality control system of the shipment process? what if the temperature is not perfectly and uniformly maintained in the shipping process. Or, dear lord, if a shipment got delayed?!?
I could go on - but really you get the point - I think a full audit is called for here. After all - Its important that we be fiscally responsible.
* no sarcasm here at ALL
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Doctors, Pharmacists, and !@#$@$@#$ Insurance Companies - Oh My!
Sorry - another little rant about my favorite folks here. People who know me know I struggle with Fibromyalgia from time* to time. Since I am the worlds BIGGEST weenie about being in pain I've gotten to be pretty good about remembering to refill my prescriptions as far ahead of time** as the insurance trolls will allow.
So when I submitted my refill requests, August 14th - a full 3 weeks before they would be needed - I felt pretty confident there would be no gap in coverage. Then when I stopped at the Pharmacy on on August 18th and they said "You have no refills left we'll have to call your Doctor to authorize this" I wasn't too perturbed. Still plenty of time, yes? The pharmacy called - or claims they did but got no answer from my Doc. Do you suppose they told me this? NO - Not until I went back on the 22nd. So I asked if they were going to call again. They claimed yes. Now, I was annoyed, so I checked back again on the 24th. Still no pills.
I called my doc myself on the 25th - at which time she had left for vacation. Plus her receptionist said - they had not ever been contacted by the pharmacy. Ping pong back and forth several times to September 8th and you get my evil twin holding forth in a raging fury - at the pharmacy in front of quite a crowd. And me a week without my meds.
They did get filled - in fact they offered me free samples of Prozac*** to go along with. Once I feel better my twin and I are going to go back and kick all their asses. This is not about revenge - I just figure maybe if they have to spend a week or so in pain they will be a little more responsive to the next poor soul.
Really, its all about the public service man.
* Most but not quite all of those times being when I've stupidly forgotten to take my meds.
** Yes this was learned the hard (and painful) way.
***Like my evil twin could ever be subdued by some puny pill.
So when I submitted my refill requests, August 14th - a full 3 weeks before they would be needed - I felt pretty confident there would be no gap in coverage. Then when I stopped at the Pharmacy on on August 18th and they said "You have no refills left we'll have to call your Doctor to authorize this" I wasn't too perturbed. Still plenty of time, yes? The pharmacy called - or claims they did but got no answer from my Doc. Do you suppose they told me this? NO - Not until I went back on the 22nd. So I asked if they were going to call again. They claimed yes. Now, I was annoyed, so I checked back again on the 24th. Still no pills.
I called my doc myself on the 25th - at which time she had left for vacation. Plus her receptionist said - they had not ever been contacted by the pharmacy. Ping pong back and forth several times to September 8th and you get my evil twin holding forth in a raging fury - at the pharmacy in front of quite a crowd. And me a week without my meds.
They did get filled - in fact they offered me free samples of Prozac*** to go along with. Once I feel better my twin and I are going to go back and kick all their asses. This is not about revenge - I just figure maybe if they have to spend a week or so in pain they will be a little more responsive to the next poor soul.
Really, its all about the public service man.
* Most but not quite all of those times being when I've stupidly forgotten to take my meds.
** Yes this was learned the hard (and painful) way.
***Like my evil twin could ever be subdued by some puny pill.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Still running crazy
I seriously plan to blog some this weekend. I promise. I've gotten some good ideas inspired by other bloggers more disciplined (or who just have more free time) than I. But work is about to bury me - I've even been logging on from home most of the evening to try and catch up.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Enough
OK that is all the wallowing I will allow myself. Time to pack it away again and move on. It will come back and then I will deal with it again but for now - time to focus on the now.
And now is crazy at work plus nuts at home.
But there are upsides too. Our vacation is inching closer and I bought a couple of rocken dresses for the formal dinners!! WooHoo.
And we are finally "officially" on a referral waiting list. Yippee!!!
So take the good with the bad and deal with the bad then focus on the good.
And now is crazy at work plus nuts at home.
But there are upsides too. Our vacation is inching closer and I bought a couple of rocken dresses for the formal dinners!! WooHoo.
And we are finally "officially" on a referral waiting list. Yippee!!!
So take the good with the bad and deal with the bad then focus on the good.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Why
“Momma, Why do you want to adopt a baby? Why don’t you and daddy want to have a baby?”
When the blade is sharp enough they say you do not even feel it, not as a cut anyway. It can sink into you, between the ribs, all the way to your heart and you’ll feel nothing, except maybe some pressure if the hilt, the hand, strike you as it drives home. It’s not until they remove the blade that you feel anything. A cold so deep it burns as you bleed out.
With an emotional wound the bleeding out happens internally and it eats through you like acid. It’s a pain so bad you can’t catch a real breath. My hand had a fine tremble as I ran it down my daughter’s hair and my voice was faint, breathless.
“Eden, Daddy and I would love to have a baby, but God has another plan for us.”
“But why?”
“Honey, God always knows what is right for us even when we don’t understand.”
"But Why Momma?"
Why. That word. It reverberates through my mind like a gong but instead of fading it rises in pitch until it is a keening shriek, over and over. Her words have cut away the two years between then and now and that keening sound in my mind is my own voice. “Why God? Why? Why?”
Recently bereaved people ask all the time, “When does it get better?” And usually I lie. Sorry about that but you don't really want the truth. The truth is – it never does. It never goes away, it never hurts less, and it never gets easier. Never. You just get better at ignoring it. Until something or someone slaps you in the face with it again and then it is right there - exactly the same. It's still raw, still bleeding, still so bad you can’t move, can’t think, can’t even breathe.
When the blade is sharp enough they say you do not even feel it, not as a cut anyway. It can sink into you, between the ribs, all the way to your heart and you’ll feel nothing, except maybe some pressure if the hilt, the hand, strike you as it drives home. It’s not until they remove the blade that you feel anything. A cold so deep it burns as you bleed out.
With an emotional wound the bleeding out happens internally and it eats through you like acid. It’s a pain so bad you can’t catch a real breath. My hand had a fine tremble as I ran it down my daughter’s hair and my voice was faint, breathless.
“Eden, Daddy and I would love to have a baby, but God has another plan for us.”
“But why?”
“Honey, God always knows what is right for us even when we don’t understand.”
"But Why Momma?"
Why. That word. It reverberates through my mind like a gong but instead of fading it rises in pitch until it is a keening shriek, over and over. Her words have cut away the two years between then and now and that keening sound in my mind is my own voice. “Why God? Why? Why?”
Recently bereaved people ask all the time, “When does it get better?” And usually I lie. Sorry about that but you don't really want the truth. The truth is – it never does. It never goes away, it never hurts less, and it never gets easier. Never. You just get better at ignoring it. Until something or someone slaps you in the face with it again and then it is right there - exactly the same. It's still raw, still bleeding, still so bad you can’t move, can’t think, can’t even breathe.
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