Interview with a PAP

I’ve been really bad about posting. My own brother started giving me shit about it. There is no good reason this time – I just got lazy. To break myself of the habit I joined in Lemmonex’s “interview” thingy. (To see the original check out the link.) So here’s what she asked:

1. Name something that scares you about becoming a mom.

Jeepers – Dive into the deep end first thing why don’t you? No easing into the pool for Lem.

Nearly everything about becoming a mom scares me. Why? Because it all boils down to the same thing in the end – What if I suck at it? This is a person we are talking about here. And while there are a lot of factors that go into creating the adult they become – genetic, environments and influences they are exposed outside their family, their own intrinsic nature- Parents have a huge impact.

I want to love, nurture, and raise a reasonably well-adjusted, happy, healthy, productive person. I don’t expect I’ll screw it up on the scale of say, Jeffery Dahalmer or Pol Pot’s mothers. But what if my kid would have been better off somehow for lack of my influence? Suppose something I do or don’t do results in them being a less happy less well-adjusted person than they could have been?

I know it’s not like there is a penalty for this I have to worry about – no parental evaluation to pass or mommy police that will issue me citations for infractions. But, well, it matters to me. I love both my stepdaughter and the new little guy so much already. I want all and only good things for them. It’s a huge weight.


2. What is the worst book you have ever read?

Damn – another tough one. I love to read. I mean I really LOVE it. I have a life long and torrid affair with all things written. I’ve read things that pissed me off because I disagreed with them violently – but I still found value in reading them. I’ve read things that were really poorly written but the basic information or premise was still in and of itself interesting enough for me to wade through the poor prose and find it worth my time to have done so. I’ve read frivolous and utterly useless books just for the entertainment value. So determining how to rate something as “Worst” has me stumbling here. “Worst” on what scale? Importance, social relevance, entertainment value?

Crap I have not answered this yet have I? Do you know, saying I don’t like a book is causing me actual distress. Ah ha – here’s the solution. The worst book I ever read was Armor by John Steakley. Why? Because I absolutely LOVED it and the damn man only wrote one other book. I still check his name regularly to see if there is any thing else out there but other than a few short stories no luck so far.

3. Name your favorite kid's movie and why?

Well, it used to be Shrek 1. (2 was tolerable but the shtick was wearing a bit thin – 3 was just abysmal and don’t even mention “Shrek the Halls”) It was my favorite because it was clever and sly and fun for adults without putting anything too inappropriate for the kids into the movie.

Adults without kids can have favorite kids movies. Most adults with kids cannot. Why you ask? I defy you to name any movie that will stand up to a child’s 42nd request to watch it and not wear on your nerves.

By the way, I am currently looking for a new favorite if any one has suggestions.

Oh, just in case you care about my least favorite kids ANYTHING – I can state definitively that all things BRATZ related are evil and should be eradicated from the world.

4. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

My intelligence. God, doesn’t that sound pompous. But seriously. I love learning new things. Most recently I’ve taught myself basic Russian. (Obvious reason why) In the past I’ve delved into things as odd as socio linguistics, the origins and development of chocolate, medieval tapestry production, and the difference between a charmed and a strange quark. I’m no genius and I don’t think I’d want an intellect that was so far out of the norm that it caused me to feel dislocated. (I hear a feeling of isolation can be a problem for the truly super smart.) But I really love learning and if for some reason I was to lose that capacity and interest I think my life would be poorer for it.

5. Tell me something I don't know about you.

I have a phobia about bugs. I hate them – all of them. Even innocuous things like butterflies and ladybugs skeeve me out. (Another fear I have of being a mom is that one of my kids will become passionate about Entomology.)

Oh, I also hate people who use TLA's without explaining them - three letter acronyms
PAP is prospective adoptive parent

So here are the “rules” for this interview thingy – my readers the hardy few that survive my neglect – are not usually participatory but if you happen to be in the mood chime in.

If you’d like to play along, just follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.